IF A WOMAN HAS THESE 14 QUALITIES NEVER LET HER GO
IF A WOMAN HAS THESE 14 QUALITIES “NEVER LET HER GO”
People in long term relationships will someday get to the point
where they need to ask themselves: Is this really the person I
want to spend the rest of my life with? Is the woman by my side
really the one?
Scientists all over the world are researching the extremely
complicated issues surrounding love and relationships and they
have spent thousands of hours trying to figure out how people fit
together and what qualities they need to bring into a
relationship to make it a happy and lasting one.
We have compiled the most important and interesting results of
these studies. If the woman by your side has these 14 qualities
and behaviours, you know you have found the one.
Gamer Noorul Mahjabeen Hassan is in 'intimate relationship' with the game Tetris
1. She is smarter than you
When you are looking for a partner for life, make sure that she
is smart. Ideally, she should be smarter than you. And science
agrees. Lawrence Whalley, professor emeritus of the University
of Aberdeen has been researching dementia for a long time and
he found that a smart woman can protect you from dementia
later in life. His advice: “The thing a boy is never told he needs
to do if he wants to live a longer life — but what he should do —
is marry an intelligent woman. There is no better buffer than
intelligence.”
The idea is that a smart partner never stops challenging you
intellectually, which helps you keep your mental faculties keen
forever.
2. She is honest
Everyone makes mistakes and bad decisions sometimes. This
makes it even more important to have someone who can get you
back on track and tell you when you are wrong. Studies show
that men want to have an honest partner by their side when they
look for a long term committed relationship. If you have found a
woman like that, never let her go again.
3. She has a positive outlook
Is your girlfriend the type of person who always sees the glass as
half full? Could you sometimes even accuse her of naïve
optimism? Then you might have found the woman of your
dreams. Because look at it this way: Negative people are toxic
and bad for our health in the long run.
This is because we tend to take on the negativity of people we
spend the most time with. This was shown in a research paper
by the psychologist Elaine Hatfield. And this internalized
negativity can lead to increased heart rate, it impedes our
digestion and lowers our concentration.
4. She compromises
Life can’t always be a bed of roses and at some point in your
relationship, you and your partner will disagree. It’s completely
normal and even inevitable. But the relationship can only work
if both partners are willing to compromise.
Psychologists of the UCLA have accompanied 172 married
couples for 11 years and came to a simple conclusion: “It’s easy
to be committed to your relationship when it’s going well,” said
senior study author Thomas Bradbury. “As a relationship
changes, however, shouldn’t you say at some point something
like, ‘I’m committed to this relationship, but it’s not going very
well — I need to have some resolve, make some sacrifices and
take the steps I need to take to keep this relationship moving
forward.”
The scientists say that those willing to take the steps and make
the sacrifices will have a long and happy marriage.
5. She laughs at your jokes
Of course we always want someone by our side who actually
laughs at our jokes. In 2006 a study by psychologists of Westfield
State University suggested that having a partner who thinks they
are funny is more important for men than for women. If you
have already found a woman you can laugh with, make sure to
take good care of her.
6. She has an open heart
Having a partner who shines in the public spotlight and can
easily make herself heard in a group makes life a lot easier.
A study by the University of Westminster suggests that people
who are open hearted and share personal information are seen
as especially attractive. The authors of the study even say that
this quality is so important that people will judge the physical
appearance of open hearted people as more handsome or
beautiful.
7. She supports your goals and pursues her own
For a long time scientists tried to prove that men prefer to marry
weak women. In her book “Why smart men marry smart
women”, Christine C. Whelan thoroughly debunks this myth and
proves with statistics that successful, well educated and high
earning women do not marry less often than others.
And remember the advantages: A strong woman by your side
will motivate you and won’t be dependent on you. You don’t
need to worry about her and she won’t need your constant
validation.
A weak person often tends to forget his or her own goals. These
people don’t just prioritise the goals of their partners, they tend
to co-opt them completely. This has been shown by a study of
the University of British Columbia. You need a healthy
combination of personal goals and goals you pursue together.
8. She has a good relationship with her parents
If you want to know what your partner will be like in 30 years,
look at their parents. If you want to know how they will treat
you in 30 years, look at how they treat their parents now.
Researchers of the University of Alberta questioned 2970 people
of all ages and saw a clear correlation between the relationship
to the parents in their teen years and their love life later on.
But this doesn’t mean that her relationship with her parents
always needs to be perfect. “Understanding your contribution to
the relationship with your parents would be important to
recognising any tendency to replicate behaviour - positive or
negative - in an intimate relationship,” author Matt Johnson
writes. The only way to learn how to do better in other
relationships is to be aware of those behaviour.
9. She is kind
Science says that the keys to a long and happy relationship are
kindness and generosity. Psychologist John Gottmann of the
University of Washington started his research on married
couples over four decades ago.
He identified two kinds of couples: Masters and Disasters. The
disasters, you guessed it, break it off in the first six years of the
relationship. But the masters stay together for a long time and
always have this one thing in common: “They are scanning
social environment for things they can appreciate and say thank
you for. They are building this culture of respect and
appreciation very purposefully,” he said in an interview with The Atlantic.
10. She remains calm in fights and calms you down too
Fights are an inevitability of all relationships. Never disagreeing
is not a sign of a stable relationship. But the important thing is
how you deal with disagreements and how you make up again
after.
Researchers of the University of California Berkeley and
Northwest University have accompanied 80 couples for 13 years
and they found out that a relationship will last the longest if the
woman can calm herself during a fight and transfer those
emotions to the man. The effect is not the same if the man is the
one to calm down first.
11. She does foolish things with you
Have you found a woman who does not hold it against you if you
stayed out too long partying? In most cases because she was at
the party with you? Then never let her go again.
A long term study of the University of Michigan with 4864
married individuals showed that the happiest couples where
those who drank alcohol together. Of course this doesn’t mean
that alcoholics are happier partners. “It could be that couples
that do more leisure time activities together have better marital
quality,” says Kira Birditt, author of the study.
12. She has a life of her own
Having your own space and privacy is even more important for
your relationship than a good sex life. This has been shown by a
long term study of the University of Michigan. “When
individuals have their own friends, their own set of interests,
when they are able to define themselves not by their spouse or
relationship, that makes them happier and less bored,” Terry
Orbuch, author of the study, said in an interview with The Wall
Street Journal .
13. She accepts your flaws
Too many relationships only seem to consist of one partner
criticizing the other. Their ugly pants, their bad jokes, their
annoying habit of chewing too loudly, you get the picture.
If you have found a woman who can just accept you, you should
consider yourself lucky. “An optimistic approach will rub off on
you and attract you to others who are seeing the world as half
full,” psychologist Terry Orbuch said in her column for The
Huffington Post.
14. She does not bear grudges
If you found a woman who can forgive others, you will have her
by your side for a long time. A study by researchers of the Luther
College, the Duke University, and the Harvard Divinity School
showed that people who can unconditionally forgive others live
longer lives.
But perhaps more importantly: Forgiveness is the foundation of
a healthy relationship. People are not perfect and neither are
you. There will be times when you inadvertently do something
that hurts your partner. And then you will need her to be able to
forgive you.
If you have found a woman who has some or all of these
qualities, treat her well and never let her go. Your life will be
better for having her.
People in long term relationships will someday get to the point
where they need to ask themselves: Is this really the person I
want to spend the rest of my life with? Is the woman by my side
really the one?
Scientists all over the world are researching the extremely
complicated issues surrounding love and relationships and they
have spent thousands of hours trying to figure out how people fit
together and what qualities they need to bring into a
relationship to make it a happy and lasting one.
We have compiled the most important and interesting results of
these studies. If the woman by your side has these 14 qualities
and behaviours, you know you have found the one.
Gamer Noorul Mahjabeen Hassan is in 'intimate relationship' with the game Tetris
1. She is smarter than you
When you are looking for a partner for life, make sure that she
is smart. Ideally, she should be smarter than you. And science
agrees. Lawrence Whalley, professor emeritus of the University
of Aberdeen has been researching dementia for a long time and
he found that a smart woman can protect you from dementia
later in life. His advice: “The thing a boy is never told he needs
to do if he wants to live a longer life — but what he should do —
is marry an intelligent woman. There is no better buffer than
intelligence.”
The idea is that a smart partner never stops challenging you
intellectually, which helps you keep your mental faculties keen
forever.
2. She is honest
Everyone makes mistakes and bad decisions sometimes. This
makes it even more important to have someone who can get you
back on track and tell you when you are wrong. Studies show
that men want to have an honest partner by their side when they
look for a long term committed relationship. If you have found a
woman like that, never let her go again.
3. She has a positive outlook
Is your girlfriend the type of person who always sees the glass as
half full? Could you sometimes even accuse her of naïve
optimism? Then you might have found the woman of your
dreams. Because look at it this way: Negative people are toxic
and bad for our health in the long run.
This is because we tend to take on the negativity of people we
spend the most time with. This was shown in a research paper
by the psychologist Elaine Hatfield. And this internalized
negativity can lead to increased heart rate, it impedes our
digestion and lowers our concentration.
4. She compromises
Life can’t always be a bed of roses and at some point in your
relationship, you and your partner will disagree. It’s completely
normal and even inevitable. But the relationship can only work
if both partners are willing to compromise.
Psychologists of the UCLA have accompanied 172 married
couples for 11 years and came to a simple conclusion: “It’s easy
to be committed to your relationship when it’s going well,” said
senior study author Thomas Bradbury. “As a relationship
changes, however, shouldn’t you say at some point something
like, ‘I’m committed to this relationship, but it’s not going very
well — I need to have some resolve, make some sacrifices and
take the steps I need to take to keep this relationship moving
forward.”
The scientists say that those willing to take the steps and make
the sacrifices will have a long and happy marriage.
5. She laughs at your jokes
Of course we always want someone by our side who actually
laughs at our jokes. In 2006 a study by psychologists of Westfield
State University suggested that having a partner who thinks they
are funny is more important for men than for women. If you
have already found a woman you can laugh with, make sure to
take good care of her.
6. She has an open heart
Having a partner who shines in the public spotlight and can
easily make herself heard in a group makes life a lot easier.
A study by the University of Westminster suggests that people
who are open hearted and share personal information are seen
as especially attractive. The authors of the study even say that
this quality is so important that people will judge the physical
appearance of open hearted people as more handsome or
beautiful.
7. She supports your goals and pursues her own
For a long time scientists tried to prove that men prefer to marry
weak women. In her book “Why smart men marry smart
women”, Christine C. Whelan thoroughly debunks this myth and
proves with statistics that successful, well educated and high
earning women do not marry less often than others.
And remember the advantages: A strong woman by your side
will motivate you and won’t be dependent on you. You don’t
need to worry about her and she won’t need your constant
validation.
A weak person often tends to forget his or her own goals. These
people don’t just prioritise the goals of their partners, they tend
to co-opt them completely. This has been shown by a study of
the University of British Columbia. You need a healthy
combination of personal goals and goals you pursue together.
8. She has a good relationship with her parents
If you want to know what your partner will be like in 30 years,
look at their parents. If you want to know how they will treat
you in 30 years, look at how they treat their parents now.
Researchers of the University of Alberta questioned 2970 people
of all ages and saw a clear correlation between the relationship
to the parents in their teen years and their love life later on.
But this doesn’t mean that her relationship with her parents
always needs to be perfect. “Understanding your contribution to
the relationship with your parents would be important to
recognising any tendency to replicate behaviour - positive or
negative - in an intimate relationship,” author Matt Johnson
writes. The only way to learn how to do better in other
relationships is to be aware of those behaviour.
9. She is kind
Science says that the keys to a long and happy relationship are
kindness and generosity. Psychologist John Gottmann of the
University of Washington started his research on married
couples over four decades ago.
He identified two kinds of couples: Masters and Disasters. The
disasters, you guessed it, break it off in the first six years of the
relationship. But the masters stay together for a long time and
always have this one thing in common: “They are scanning
social environment for things they can appreciate and say thank
you for. They are building this culture of respect and
appreciation very purposefully,” he said in an interview with The Atlantic.
10. She remains calm in fights and calms you down too
Fights are an inevitability of all relationships. Never disagreeing
is not a sign of a stable relationship. But the important thing is
how you deal with disagreements and how you make up again
after.
Researchers of the University of California Berkeley and
Northwest University have accompanied 80 couples for 13 years
and they found out that a relationship will last the longest if the
woman can calm herself during a fight and transfer those
emotions to the man. The effect is not the same if the man is the
one to calm down first.
11. She does foolish things with you
Have you found a woman who does not hold it against you if you
stayed out too long partying? In most cases because she was at
the party with you? Then never let her go again.
A long term study of the University of Michigan with 4864
married individuals showed that the happiest couples where
those who drank alcohol together. Of course this doesn’t mean
that alcoholics are happier partners. “It could be that couples
that do more leisure time activities together have better marital
quality,” says Kira Birditt, author of the study.
12. She has a life of her own
Having your own space and privacy is even more important for
your relationship than a good sex life. This has been shown by a
long term study of the University of Michigan. “When
individuals have their own friends, their own set of interests,
when they are able to define themselves not by their spouse or
relationship, that makes them happier and less bored,” Terry
Orbuch, author of the study, said in an interview with The Wall
Street Journal .
13. She accepts your flaws
Too many relationships only seem to consist of one partner
criticizing the other. Their ugly pants, their bad jokes, their
annoying habit of chewing too loudly, you get the picture.
If you have found a woman who can just accept you, you should
consider yourself lucky. “An optimistic approach will rub off on
you and attract you to others who are seeing the world as half
full,” psychologist Terry Orbuch said in her column for The
Huffington Post.
14. She does not bear grudges
If you found a woman who can forgive others, you will have her
by your side for a long time. A study by researchers of the Luther
College, the Duke University, and the Harvard Divinity School
showed that people who can unconditionally forgive others live
longer lives.
But perhaps more importantly: Forgiveness is the foundation of
a healthy relationship. People are not perfect and neither are
you. There will be times when you inadvertently do something
that hurts your partner. And then you will need her to be able to
forgive you.
If you have found a woman who has some or all of these
qualities, treat her well and never let her go. Your life will be
better for having her.
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